Do u like my poem?

to my secret velintine

from your only sunshine

I should have love you more in time

but instead i drank summer wine gasping at the sunshine

i clambed a masculine pine

and from it i drink its posion turpentine

then i dreamed of you

you were mine and covered in vine

on top of are pine and we were

making love in the devine sunshine

what dose everyone thing how can i make it better is it in a poem form any idea's

Do u like my poem?opera singer

hey there...honestly, i think the rhyming takes away the true meaning of the poem, and reduces it to a corniness [is that a word=)] of some sort. your message is beautiful, but i think perhaps focus on getting yr message across in a simple but powerful way, without the rhyme. remember peotry is not about complicating matters, you want the reader to get the message, but you also want the poem to remain true to you. simple truly is often best. i hope that yr valentine gives you the love, which you so clearly have for her. all the best=)

Do u like my poem?amc theater opera theater

I`ll be onest with you: the intention are good but you must work on sintetyse your rows!
no
Spelling/grammar check!!!

*Valentine

*I should have loved

*Climbed

*Poison

*Terpentine

*Dreamt
Are you just going to keep posting this poem in various categories until you get the answers you want?
your grammar is horrible.
its ok to rhyme some, but everything with "ine"

do over.
Don't make it rhyme so much, it sounds corny. Poetry should be about emotion and feelings.

try something like

Making love to you makes me hot,

I've dreamed of you,

Sweating,

Kissing,

The ripple of your muscles sends me to orgasmic heights.

Take the ideas from your poem , and add some feeling to it.

Good luck
I like it.
try getting a thesuarus(spelling?) a lot of ur words dont make sense in the context... read famous poetry to become poetry savvy, and try to write about things that r more important or revalent to u, even if its just a poem about how u feel lookign out the window when u hear the garbage truck...
Seriously, don't quit your day job.